Category Archives: mom

A Year in Review: 2013 – Part I

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Since today is the last day of 2013 I should probably start my Year in Review posts. Hmm… I’ll keep this one to more of the highlights and photos. But, 2013 was a good year. It started off a bit rough, but ended with many good things happening. I can’t complain.

January

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January was a month of ups and downs. I just finished my MPH degree in December and began my job search. Some decisions made by my boss at work made me extremely stressed since I wasn’t sure I was going to have a job. This caused me become sick often, which hindered a lot of my tri training, which began on the 1st of the year. Things at the gym were also unusually slow so professionally and financially I was stressed. However, I got my degree in the mail so it made things more real!

February

Picking the pace up!

Picking the pace up!

I ran the annual Mid-Winter Classic 10-Miler again. It went way better than my disaster of 2012 race where I ran sick and came really close to DNFing. However, I still treated the day more of a training run than anything because I was learning I lost all my running aerobic fitness over my Fall running hiatus due to plantar fasciitis. I also learned important lessons in time management. Working three jobs and training for an Ironman is not fun or easy to do.

March

My mother, my sister and I (1989)

My mother, my sister and I (1989)

Azul and I celebrated our One Year anniversary. I love that bike! I also celebrated the 4 year anniversary of my mother passing, which is never easy to do. I miss her everyday.

April

Done!

Done!

I started April off with a bang! I ran the Race the Runways Half-Marathon again, this time as a training run. It was insanely cold and windy, but I had great company throughout the race. The next day I developed a 102 fever and was out for a couple of days. Go figure! Towards the end of the month I began to develop a bit of a twinge in my right knee. I also went to the USAT Level One Coaching clinic and became a certified coach!

May

Tammy, Myself, Marisa, and Beth - all taking home hardware after a great race!

Tammy, Myself, Marisa, and Beth – all taking home hardware after a great race!

That twinge in my right knee developed into full-fledge IT-Band issues that plagued me for the rest of the summer. I managed to race the PolarBear Tri… barely. Miraculously, I placed 3rd in my age group.

June

Okay, not from my rides this week... but from the Patriot Hald Aquabike

Patriot Half Aquabike

My run training was extremely limited. I saw my chiropractor at least once a week to help heal my IT-Band issues. I dropped down from the Half-Ironman to the Half Aqua Bike at the Patriot Half. I had a good day, pacing myself like I would at Lake Placid. However, I almost ran over both turkeys and geese on the bike.

 July

IMLPfinishline

I became an Ironman! I celebrated yet another epic 4th of July with my favorite family and began my final build to the big day. My Ironman day went as planned. My knee held out to mile 18ish of the run before I was forced to walk the rest of the way, but I finished my goal, and that was to become an Ironman.

August

Enjoying a day at the beach

Enjoying a day at the beach

August was a recovery month. I spent a lot of time with friends and family. Towards the end of the month I began running again slowly just to rebuild my horrible running fitness. I had several promising job interviews. I also left my job at the gym I was working at to go off on my own to start my own business.

September

An example of pubis symphysis seperation - clearly an extreme case (Source)

An example of pubis symphysis separation – clearly an extreme case (Source)

I finally got offered a job! A great deal of stress was lifted off of me. I continued running easily until my pelvis decided to twist itself again. Awesome. I then began another running hiatus and began my yoga addiction.

October

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Hot Yoga Time!

I became addicted to hot yoga and it was fabulous. I saw my chiropractor at least once a week to convince my pelvis not to split into two. I was happy as a clam at my new job and I joined the Junior League of Portland, Maine.

November

One of my favorite quotes of the year!

One of my favorite quotes of the year!

I continued with my yoga binge, loving every minute of it. I was slowly cleared to return to “normal” training. I mostly rode my bike, but ran a few times. It hurt.

December

Skiing at Shawnee Peak

Skiing at Shawnee Peak

I skied for the first time since my mother died almost five years ago with a friend. More to come of this in the next week or so. I’ve slowly been building my aerobic base again, mostly through cycling.

~ Happy Training and Happy 2014!!

Lessons From Yoga: Just Breathe…

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I sound like a broken record. Over and over again I have said that I’m not patient. It’s true. Patience is not my virtue, especially when I’m injured. I went from training anywhere from 10-20+ hours a week for an Ironman to a dead stop. I’m a busy body. I’m an active and physical person. Stillness is not in my vocabulary. For crying out loud, my legs twitch as I sit at my desk at work.

But, with my recent pelvic alignment issues, I have learned that I have to accept the stillness and be patient. Many people have told me to just relax and breathe. How the hell do I do that? I’m the type of person who uses physical exercise to release my stress and anxiety. I often train alone, because it’s my “me” time. I can decompress and let go the stresses of everyday living.

Breath is essential to life. From a science and physiology perspective I understand the importance of breath and its subsequent effect on the body and mind during movement. For the past couple of years I have dappled a bit in yoga periodically, but never really enjoyed it. I always viewed it more of an off-season filler, a change of pace if you will. The various instructors always talk about breath and moving to your own breath throughout your practice. I’ve always just laughed it off a bit and focused more on the actual movements; after all, I’m a more physical person, not some kumbaya hippie (yes, I judged, sue me).

But, there is something to it. I can find stillness in breath, even during movement. I can let go…

A deep breath in, a deep breath out… I can feel the tension and stress of the day leaving my body. My muscles relax and it’s just me and my thoughts. However, my brain still runs at Mach 10 with thoughts. It always does. That will probably never change. But I can slowly release and begin to live in the moment. Just breathe…

Some people are really good at living in the moment. I am not. My brain is always 10 steps ahead of me. I’m a strategic planner, always thinking about the next step and where I’m going from here. What do I need at the grocery store? What is on my to-do list at work tomorrow? When are my student loans due? The list goes on. Since my Mom died almost five years ago my thoughts and attitudes have evolved and grown. Sometimes it takes a life-changing event to change your thought process. Life is short. Cherish the moments.

liveinbreath

Source: The Clymb Facebook Page

For the past few weeks I have reflected a bit on moments in my life where I have truly lived in the moment. I think we all have moments in life that we truly feel alive, whether it’s seeing a beautiful sunrise on the beach in Costa Rica, achieving a life goal, or the birth of your child. Each moment is unique to us and our core being.

My expectations going into Ironman Lake Placid were low, but my hopes were high. The night before the race I received some incredible advice from a friend who has raced several Ironmans – you only get one first Ironman, enjoy the moment. 

Yes, completing an Ironman is daunting to most people. Who in their right mind would want to swim, bike, run 140.6 miles for up to 17 hours? Throughout my 14:13:33 hour day I experienced pain, frustration, and negative thoughts, but I kept reminding myself to keep moving forward and breathe. Pedaling up the long, slow incline of the Gorge while fighting a headwind under threatening skies, I would look around and see the beauty of the Adirondack Mountains. My body, even though it was broken and fatigued from the day’s effort, was a machine. My breath feeding the fire that burned in my muscles. Just breathe….

Entering the Olympic Circle at Lake Placid is an indescribable feeling. An overwhelming wave of emotion; it hits you like a ton of bricks. At this point I had tears running down my cheek from the excruciating pain in my right knee from when it gave out seven miles before. Every fiber of my body was willing me to run the final half mile. The cheers from the crowd were quieting the pain in my body and pushing me forward. This was the moment. This was MY moment. The tears quickly turned from pain to every emotion imaginable. Happiness. Pain. Fatigue. 

THIS was the moment that I had been training for over seven months. I put in countless hours of blood, sweat, and tears. It all culminated in this moment. I thought about my mom and how I carried her photo in my sports bra. I hoped that she was looking down on me with pride. Suddenly, my feet across under the arch and I heard Mike Reilly tell me “I am an Ironman.” The moment was surreal. Almost like an out-of-body experience. Just breathe…

There are days I wish I could rewind time and relive moments that I didn’t fully appreciate at the time. But, atlas, we cannot. We can only live in the present and learn to appreciate what we have. Nothing lasts forever.

Source: UpWorthy Facebook Page

Source: UpWorthy Facebook Page

So next time you’re hiking a mountain, running on the beach, or relaxing on your mat at the end of yoga class, live in the moment. Sometimes it’s the little things that are the most profound in life. Sometimes you have to be patient, try something new, and learn to breathe… and finally, cherish the moment.

Just breathe… 

 

~ Happy Training!

Ironman Lake Placid: The Why, the Data, and the Photo I Carried

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So, it’s been over 3 months since Ironman Lake Placid and I finally got around to uploading all my data from my GPS devices for the day. Better late than never, eh?

The Why

I’ve never really come out and said why I wanted to do an Ironman. For a long time I never thought I would want to do an Ironman. The miles and time involved to complete an Ironman seemed impossible, especially for a mediocre athlete like myself. Swimming, cycling, and running over 140 miles in under 17 hours was ridiculous and best left to the crazy, ripped and lean athletes. Even after my first Half-Ironman in 2011 I didn’t want to do an Ironman. Then, I watched the 2011 Ironman World Championships tracking my coach and a few fellow Maine triathletes and watched Chrissie Wellington not only come from behind to win, but with broken bones and serious road rash. I realized that there was something special about Ironman. My resistance against the idea started to turn into curiosity and finally the seed was planted. I was determined to become an Ironman someday. Ironman no longer seemed impossible, but a major goal that I was seeking to reach. Perhaps I was crazy to think little old me with my overabundance of injuries could hear Mike Reilly say that “You are an Ironman.”

I’ve always been very self-critical of myself. My father was very hard on me growing up and often pushed me to my breaking point with harsh, uncalled for comments. But, it formed who I am today. I am stubborn and I don’t give up easy. I will die trying. I hired a wonderful and supportive coach in 2012 to help prime me for my potential debut Ironman in 2013. I was still on the fence about it until I went to training camp and realized that I could do it. The impossible became the possible. I chose to do an Ironman to prove to myself that I am capable of what I put my mind too. I’ve always strived to be the best and worked hard to achieve it. I’m competitive by nature. I know I’m not the best. Many people are stronger and faster than me, but I strive to be the best and strongest person I know I can be. Completing Ironman Lake Placid this summer allowed me to put the little voice in my head that is constantly telling me I’m not good enough to rest. Ironman, the holy grail of triathlon, is achievable to anyone who is willing to take the leap and put in the work.

The Data

As I mentioned above, I finally uploaded all my Garmin devices to Training Peaks. During the race I used my Garmin 910XT and my Edge 800. Of course, being the technical idiot that I am, I messed up my 910XT and had the longest transition one of 112 miles! 🙂 Luckily, I had my Edge on my bike to catch a majority of my bike leg.

I felt like I had a good swim leg. I stayed off the cable to avoid the flailing arms and legs, but I guess I also swam an extra 0.26 miles by doing so! But, that also brings my pace down to 1:38/100 yards!

My awesome ability to swim a straight line...

My awesome ability to swim a straight line…

My bike data was fun to view. According to Training Peaks I gained 10,423 feet! I’m thinking there is a major glitch in their elevation algorithm since I know I didn’t ride my bike a few times up and down Mt. Washington! I averaged a cadence of 80 rpm, which I’m happy with since that includes all the zeros from the 10k downhill section riding into Keene (that happened twice!), thus my cadence is actually higher. Winning! My power VI was 1.15, which is good for me, especially with the ups and downs of the course.

My run data was kind of sad to view, watching my declining pace over the course of 26.2 miles. But, I knew it inevitable. Darn, knee…

Declining run pace

Declining run pace

 

The Photo I Carried

I knew my first Ironman would be special. I also knew it would be a long, long day that might involve some mental negative talk. I needed and wanted some motivation over the course of the day. My father refused to come to Lake Placid to watch and cheer me on and I was definitely disappointed about that. My mother was always one of my biggest cheerleaders in life and I knew that if she was still alive that she would have been there, getting up at the crack of dawn to drive me to transition and been there until I crawled across that finish line. On race day I carried her in spirit and also a picture in a little baggie tucked into my sports bra. When my thoughts turned negative and the little voice started whispering that I couldn’t do it, I thought about my mother. I was able to find my strength again and proceed onwards to the Olympic Circle. When my knee gave out at mile 18 of the run I thought back to her battle with CJD and realized the last 8 miles of the run was nothing compared to what that disease did to her.

My mom and Duke riding in Acadia National Park circa 1998

My mom and Duke riding in Acadia National Park circa 1997

My advice to anyone doing an Ironman is find something (a photo, a pin, a quote, etc.) to either carry with you physically or mentally throughout the day that will remind you why you are doing the race because there are times that your thoughts will go dark and you start to doubt your fitness, ability, and training. The mind can often push our bodies far past its breaking point when we believe we have a reason bigger than ourselves to be doing the crazy things we do.

One of my favorite quotes! (Source)

One of my favorite quotes! (Source)

 

~ Happy Training!

Weekend Wrap-Up

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My weekend started Friday evening with the annual Girls and Gears Event at Gorham Bike and Ski. I arrived just as they were doing the fashion show of cycling clothes. It involved the models throwing out freebies to the crowd. It was a bit scary at times. Boxes of water bottles were being thrown into groups of women. I almost got smacked in the face once. The tire changing contest on the other hand was amusing. 🙂

Tire Changing Contest

Tire Changing Contest

 

Anyway, I chatted with a bunch of friends and succeeded to purchase more Hammer gels. Seriously, my budget for sports fuel is probably about the same as my grocery bill each week. #IronmanAthleteProblems

Saturday was an early morning with a couple of clients. It was a rainy day so I didn’t mind hanging out at the gym for a while. I was tired when I finally arrived home and took a long nap. I guess all the rain made me tired. Not to mention all the job applications I have been filling out lately….

Later in the evening I hopped on the trainer for 1:30 ride. It was a long and sweaty ride but I was glad when it was over. Tempo work can be hard. 🙂

Sunday was another rainy morning. While I was eating my breakfast the skies opened up and down-poured. At this point I was pretty convinced that my 3:30 hour-long ride was going to be on the trainer again. Great. I postponed my ride until later in the day hoping that the weather might change. The skies were iffy so I started in on a long trainer ride. I managed to get sucked into a movie on Showtime called The Innkeepers. It really wasn’t that great but I couldn’t stop watching…

I had pedaled my way about 30 minutes into my workout when the sun broke through the clouds and appeared to be staying out. Yay! Sun! So I hopped off the trainer after 45 minutes, quickly changed and hit the open road. I honestly wasn’t 100% sure what direction I was going to head out towards. I knew my first destination was going to be the cemetery to stop by my Mother’s grave. I spent a few minutes there and then headed out towards Scarborough. My initial intention was to hit up Mitchell Hill Road for some hill training, but then changed my mind and headed out to Scarborough Beach and Old Orchard Beach. The weather was actually beautiful. 70s, sunny, with a bit of a head wind.

Old Orchard Beach

Old Orchard Beach

 

The beach was nice. I usually don’t ride this route often because summertime is not the time to ride out towards Old Orchard. Too many stupid people in cars and people walking right out in front of you. I prefer the skin on my body and not on the road if you get my drift.  Finally I was on my way home. Overall I got in about 56+ miles in today. Couldn’t have asked for a better day. Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers and mothers-to-be! 🙂

~ Happy Training!

 

Four Years…

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Four years and it doesn’t get any easier…

Yesterday was the four-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. March 24th will always be a tough day, but it’s also a day of remembrance and celebration of a great woman’s life. Perhaps I’m bias, but my mother was an amazing woman whose life was tragically cut short by a horrific disease. I’d be lying if I said that it gets easier with time, but it doesn’t. Losing a parent is never easy, especially at a young age. There was so much more that I wanted to learn from her and experiences to share.

I was lucky that I was close with my mother. For most of my life she was a stay-at-home mom and then as my sisters and I got older she began to work from home as a stitcher. She worked from dawn to dusk in what we dubbed as her “sweat shop.” Some of the things that she sewed were not her favorite, but she did it so she could afford my expensive lifestyle, aka my horses. She was the one that would wake up early in the mornings to walk down to the barn to feed and clean the horses stalls and often did evening feeds when I was busy with school work. She spent many years and thousands of dollars to cart me and my horses’ butts around New England to compete every weekend. Those are the days that I’ll never forget. Those are the days that I miss.

Honestly, what truly makes me sad is what my mother will miss as my sisters and I get older. She wasn’t there to attend any of our college graduations. She won’t be there as we shop for our wedding dresses or see us walk down the aisle. She won’t be there as we start families or give us parenting advice.

It sucks. There is no other way to describe it. I miss her everyday. But, life goes on. We must put our best foot forward everyday and live life to the fullest. We are placed on earth for a short time and I believe that it’s our responsibility to do something meaningful with our time and hopefully leave this planet a better place.

In the past few weeks some exciting news has been released about Creuzfeldt-Jakob Disease, the disease that robbed my mother of her life. Creuzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) is a rare and fatal brain disorder. It occurs about one in a million persons worldwide and is 100% fatal. In the United States there is about 300 new cases each year. My mother was one of them in 2009. There are three types of CJD: sporadic CJD, familial CJD, and acquired CJD. CJD is caused by prions, which are an infectious agent composed of misfolded proteins. Recently, some great news came out of Case Western University, the hub of CJD research within the United States. Studies has indicated that prions might play an important role in iron metabolism in the brain. The researchers also have developed a new more accurate test for CJD through a spinal tap. This is a huge breakthrough. I know when my mother was diagnosed, it was done mainly through the process of elimination. One of the main problems we had with my mother was that her first MRI and tests all came back normal, but her second set of tests a few weeks later were positive. Of course, the blood and CSF samples from my mother that we sent to Case Western for testing didn’t come back until after she passed. For more information on CJD then please check out the CJD Foundation website: www.cjdfoundation.org.

My mother, my sister and I (1989)

My mother, my sister and I (1989)

My mom and my horse Duke in Acadia National Park

My mom and my horse Duke in Acadia National Park

My High School graduation with my parents (2005)

My High School graduation with my parents (2005)

 

 

 

I hope I’ve made you proud dear Mum
For there will never be another.
Cause there is no love greater,
Than a child has for their Mother.

(Source)

RIP Mom <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Bad Do You Want It

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Recently I gave my two bosses at the gym my wish list of equipment I would like, especially for the expansion next year and the athletic conditioning area that will be built, and one of them made a comment that I wasn’t shy in asking for what I want. I’m very much the goal-setting and ambitious type. When I want something I go out there and make it happen through hard work. I know so many people who will constantly “talk the talk,” but they never follow through and “walk the walk.” I honestly find those type of people annoying. There are days I just want to smack them over the heads and yell “just do it all ready!”

Motivation is important in life, especially in the health and fitness world. I wrote a post about a month ago about the lack of motivation I witnessed in a boot camp class at the gym I went to previously. You have to be motivated to reach your health and wellness goals, whether it is a weight lost goal or a sports/performance goal. I always suggest to my clients during our first meeting to sit down and write a goal and why you want to reach it. Why is it important to you? Often times people have some deep meaning to their goals. I tell them that it’s not going to be easy. If you want to lose 20 lbs then you are going to have to work for it. It’s going to require some lifestyle changes and probably some blood, sweat, and tears. When you think you can’t do that last push-up then think about that goal and why you are doing this. Push yourself to do that last push-up. You will not regret it.

The mental aspect of fitness and athletic performance is an area of training that we don’t often think about. The human body is an amazing thing and is capable of much more than we believe it can do. The best athletes in any sport are the ones that can overcome the pain and mental barriers and push themselves to new limits. Most of the time we stop doing something because our brain is telling us to stop, but in reality we can do much more. We need to train our brains to become mentally stronger and be able to work through the pain. I think Ironman is a great example of this. How many times have you seen people push themselves past that pain just to cross that finish line and hear “You are an Ironman” only to collapse into a heap and be carted off to the med tent? What about Chrissie Wellington’s amazing feat at Kona in 2011 when she came from behind after a huge bike crash the previous week to win again? I think that is why I am so drawn to triathlons and Ironman in general. I want to put myself through a world of pain to see how far physically and mentally I can go. It’s not going to be easy, but I am going to put all my blood, sweat, and tears into and come July 28th I will see what I am capable of accomplishing.

I recently came across these couple of videos that I really liked. It reminded me that if I really want something then I need to work for it. I have a lot of goals. Many of them are very lofty and might never happen. But, they will certainly never happen if I don’t try to make them happen. If you want something bad enough you will work your ass off for it. No excuses.

My message today is find that why. Why do you want it? How bad do you want it? What are you willing to give up for it? Once you find that why, work for it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It will be worth it at the end of the day. I promise.

So what is my why? My mother passed away 3.5 years ago from an extremely rare and horrific disease at the age of 52. It came out of no where. That event put things into perspective for me. It made me start to question what I truly wanted to do in life. My original plan in life was medical school, but I decided against it because I didn’t want to be $200,000 in debt for the rest of my life. It wasn’t until this year that I finally realized my dreams and what I wanted to do in my life that would get me out of bed every morning and go to bed every night satisfied. I want a career where I make a difference in someone’s life. I want a career that makes people realize that they are truly capable and deserving of reaching their dreams and that those dreams are worth fighting for. Most of all, I want a career that when it is my time to leave this planet I am satisfied that I left it making a difference and a better, healthier place. My why is that my mother wasn’t able to live long enough to continue making an impact on this planet so I want to make sure that I am living each day to my fullest potential. Every time I start to reach that dark place I begin to think of my why and begin to claw my way out. That is why I will work for it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I want it bad enough.

How bad do you want it?

 

~ Happy Training! 

Race Support – We Can’t Do It Without You!

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I grew up riding horses competitively for over ten years. Over those years I had three horses that were kept less than a mile down the road. Horses are a lot of work. Mucking stalls, grooming, feeding, throwing hay up in the loft, etc. You get the idea. Luckily, I had tremendous support from my mother. She did all the morning chores while I got ready for school and we often split the evening chores. She carted my and my horse’s butt around the state and New England just about every weekend for shows and events. She was my number one supporter during those years. And I certainly miss her and her support everyday…

Getting ready for showmanship

Duke, Phoebe, and my Mom

Triathlon is an individual sport. We swim, bike, run all by ourselves. Our loved ones often think we are crazy to get up at the ass crack of dawn for an early swim workout, ride our bikes for 5+ hours on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, or run any where up to 20 miles for fun! They wonder why instead of putting thousands of dollars into our children’s college fund we invest that money into expensive race wheels that will make us five minutes faster. They complain they never see us or when they do we are the walking dead because we are hungry, sore, and tired.

But, at the end of the day many of them still love us and support us. While at Lake Placid this year I saw so many athlete’s family members wearing team shirts and carrying signs to support their athletes over their 140.6 mile journey. Some family members were glad when the day was over because they get their athlete back. Others have been through the drill numerous times before and still do it over and over again. The atmosphere at an Ironman is insane and very contagious!

Often times athletes forget to tell their friends, families, volunteers, and complete strangers how grateful they truly are for their support, encouragement, and smiles on race days. Many spectators don’t realize what a simple smile or “good job” can do for an athlete when all they just want to do is curse the world, puke, and lie on the side of the road and die. It can completely change an athlete’s perspective of the race and encourage them to finish.

For me personally, seeing a friend or family member on the side line means to world to me. Rev3 is on Sunday. I’m lucky that the race is on my home turf so I know a ton of people racing. Seeing a familiar face is always a wonderful thing. I’m really hoping that many people will come out to support me and my fellow racers. I know I have been working my butt off for the past 8 months to train for this race. It’s my big race and I would love to see my friends and family at the finish line for a smile, a hug, or a simple slap on the back and a “good job.” I know many others feel the same way so take a few hours out of your days and come support ALL the athletes racing on Sunday in OOB. Your smile or “you’re doing great” can really make a difference in an athlete’s mind!

~ See you all Sunday! 🙂